Remember last Friday I said my nose was running a bit? Well, by the end of the day it was running a LOT and I had come down with a full-blown cold with headache, sore throat, and congestion. Then in the early morning hours on Saturday I woke up and realized I had symptoms of a urinary tract infection too. Just great! Luckily, the practice our doctor is a part of has walk in sick appointments most of the day on Saturdays, so while Frank was cleaning the church on Saturday morning, I took myself to the doctor and got an antibiotic for the UTI. Thankfully, that helped pretty quickly and I was feeling a lot better by Sunday (although I still had the cold). Because of the cold, I still wasn't feeling fantastic on Monday (although the cold was improving) and I also felt like maybe I was getting a yeast infection. Thankfully, those symptoms never got worse so maybe it was just residual effects of the UTI. By Tuesday a lot of the congestion had cleared up and my head felt better but my throat has felt a bit raw all week and the last few days I have been coughing quite a bit. I think it's just the leftovers from the cold. Between the problems with my neck / back and these latest illnesses, I definitely haven't been very healthy lately! But looking on the bright side, that doctor visit was the first one I've had this year. And I'm not sure I had a sick visit to the doctor last year at all. I don't think I've been sick at all since I had that nasty flu / eye infection illness in the summer of 2018 (I didn't go to the doctor for that because I could tell it was viral). So I've been remarkably healthy for over a year, and I'm grateful.
Snickers went to the vet on Tuesday for a blood glucose arc test, to try to determine why his blood sugar is still so high. We also asked them to check his eyes because over the weekend he started showing signs that he couldn't see very well. He was suddenly really reluctant to go up and down steps, and if we threw a treat on the floor for him, he would look all over but couldn't seem to find it. Things like that. The vet called me after a few hours to say that they had only had to check his blood sugar a few times--they could already tell that the insulin we've been giving him isn't really working. So we had to switch him to a different insulin. Of course this new insulin costs 3 times as much as the kind he was on. But the silver lining in the cloud is that the blood glucose arc test didn't cost nearly as much as the estimate they gave us because they only had to test him a few times before they figured out what was going on. The vet also confirmed that he has cataracts in both eyes and he can't see through those, so he is basically blind. He can see light and dark, probably, but not much else. He gets around our house quite well because he's lived here his whole life and knows where everything is. But getting up and down the front steps has been an ordeal and he often falls off curbs and or bumps into things when we are outside. Stairs inside the house are difficult for him too. It's been pretty heartbreaking to see him running into things, as well as to see him creeping around carefully at times--I can tell he's afraid he's going to bump into something. I just can't even explain how sad it is! Besides that, on Wednesday he started having accidents in the house. He's been drinking a ton and needing to go out a ton (both signs that his blood sugar is too high). I found a few wet spots after I had been gone for a few hours which is understandable if he needed to go while I wasn't home, but the perplexing thing is that he also has had a few accidents while we are home. A few times in the night (he would wake us up, but then pee on the floor immediately after before we had a chance to take him out) and at least once during the evening when we were all home and we were even in the same room with him (that time he hadn't even acted like he needed to go out). So that is perplexing. Since he just switched to a new insulin, we had to start out with a low dose (they don't want his blood sugar to go too low) and then today I had to take him back to get his blood sugar checked again. Not surprising to us, it was still very high--in the 500s. So now we are increasing his dose and I take him back to get checked again on Monday. It feels like a never ending process. With all of this stuff going on, Frank and I have been talking a lot and I have been thinking about it a lot, and we have decided that if this new insulin doesn't get his blood sugar under control, then we are going to have to put him down. It is a hard decision to make, but we think he's suffered enough. We have treated so many problems in the hopes that we could get him to a better place where he is feeling better and enjoying life more, but in reality that hasn't been happening and it seems pretty unlikely that it ever will. It feels instead like we've been treating him and getting him through one problem so that he can live long enough to have another problem! At this point we don't feel like we can go on any overnight trips without taking him with us and we even feel anxious leaving him alone at home for more than a few hours. It's just too much for him and for us. So all of that has been weighing pretty heavily on my heart this week and there's been some tears.
Remember I said last week that we were going to take a break from brain balance for a while? Thank goodness I made that decision because it adds to the after school stress and we had plenty of that this week without adding in brain balance. Seth mostly likes school, but he has homework most days now and he hasn't been adjusting very well to having assignments that have to be completed and turned in at a certain time and tests that he has to study for. (In traditional Montessori, they work more at their own pace and they don't have a lot of tests.) His language arts teacher emailed me this week to let me know that he has been turning in assignments mostly undone. He's been telling me that his homework is done, and I wasn't checking his assignments most of the time. So we had to work together on homework more this week and he didn't like that much. (And neither did I!) But besides that, he has just had some really moody days and almost every evening at dinner he has had a meltdown because he didn't like what we were eating. It's just really unpleasant to start out your dinner three or four nights in a row with your child yelling about it! We've been trying harder lately to be more consistent with him and to have consequences for his behavior and we've also been insisting that he eat at least a little bit of everything that we are eating. We've been a lot more lenient with him about food than we were with our other kids because his medication suppresses his appetite. That means he usually eats only a small amount (if any) of his lunch at school. Also for some reason he isn't usually hungry in the morning either! So by dinner time we are feeling the need to make sure he gets some nourishment of some kind so we've often let him eat things he really likes because we want him to eat. But he is an excessively picky eater so the things he really likes are limited. Our main goal has been to make sure he gets something inside him every day, but in meeting that goal we have unintentionally spoiled him a lot and now he thinks he shouldn't have to eat anything unless he likes it. But he's 12 years old now and he needs to learn to eat things whether he likes them or not! So we're working on that but it's been ugly, and not much fun for any of us. In spite of the fact that I don't think he eats much, he is somehow still growing like a weed and I think he is a little bit taller than me now.
Sometime late last week, Frank's CPAP started making noise. (It's normally so quiet that you have to listen really hard to tell that it's even on.) So he and I had several nights that we didn't sleep very well because of the noise, and at least part of a couple of those nights Frank gave up and turned it off which meant he wasn't waking up because of noise but he also wasn't getting quality sleep because when he's not wearing his CPAP he stops breathing several times an hour. Plus he snores, which wakes both he and I up. (I got so accustomed to his snoring in the years before he got the CPAP that I slept right through it. Then when he got the CPAP and stopped snoring, I woke up the first couple of nights because it was so quiet!! But he's had the CPAP for about 3 years now so I'm used to no snoring and now snoring is waking me up.) So anyway, by Monday we were feeling pretty sleep deprived so he started calling around about getting his CPAP fixed. It turns out that it would cost more to fix it than it would to get a new one, and since we have new insurance, our insurance company will cover the cost. (Good news!) The bad news is, it's going to take a few weeks to get the new one. In the meantime, they are supposed to provide a loaner so that he can sleep but for some reason getting through all the necessary approvals and such with the insurance has taken all week and he still doesn't have the loaner. Which means neither of us has had a decent night's sleep in a week (Snickers has been waking us up as well, remember.) I mean, when our kids were newborns this was pretty much par for the course, but we are a lot older now and it's a lot harder for our bodies to handle lack of sleep! Have I also mentioned that I have a lot harder time getting comfortable at nights now and my body kind of aches all over a lot of the time? (That problem I was having with my hips / back that I went to PT for a few years ago has come back too.) I think we really need a new mattress and maybe if we were could stop spending so much on our dog's medical bills, we could get one! And one other thing I've been noticing because of all this--I need to get my right ear cleaned out. If I lie on my left side with my left ear on the pillow, I can barely hear Frank snoring at all. But if my right ear is down then I can hear him loud and clear. I'd sleep on my left side all night if I could, but I can't because my left hip starts to hurt, among other things. Okay, this is actually making me laugh. How ridiculous is all this??!!
So now that I've got all that off my chest (is anyone still reading?) I will go on to tell you about some of the things we did this week.
Saturday the 28th: That was the day I wasn't feeling well at all, so other than going to the doctor, I didn't do much. Seth had some homework that I made sure he finished, but other than that I mostly stayed in bed and tried to rest up so I would get better. Frank's back was hurting him a lot again (he always ends up doing too much when he cleans the church because people don't show up to help like they're supposed to do; thank goodness that was the last Saturday in September and it's not our ward's turn again until December) so I did take Seth with me to go get us some dinner (since neither Frank nor I was feeling up to cooking). Seth had a birthday party to attend that evening and Frank did take him to that and picked him back up afterwards. Things we didn't do: we didn't pick the pumpkin or weed or mow the lawn and I had hoped to do, and we also didn't attend a farewell picnic for some friends in our ward who moved this week, as we had planned to do. But as I said, I was feeling better on Sunday so it was worth it.
Sunday the 29th: We made it to church! :) I tried not to get too near people or to shake hands, since I still had the cold. Like everyone else, our ward had the broadcast from SLC about the new program for children and youth for our second hour of church. I didn't teach Primary because my class are the kids who are turning 8 next year and they were supposed to go to the meeting too. (But if not, they still would have found someone else to teach my class since I have a child who's a youth.) The broadcast was pretty cool, I thought, and I'm excited to hear more particulars about the program. During the part where they give the children and youth some time to write down a few goals, I was helping Seth with his goals (although he did pretty good at coming up with them on his own) but I also looked around and watched all the other parents leaning over to help their kids with their goals and it was a sweet moment where I felt the spirit very strongly. It's hard to put into words, but for one thing, I could just feel the love all those parents have for their children. But besides that, I just had a sense of how important this new program will be and the spirit impressed on me again how important the family is in God's plan. I feel this new program will really tap into the power of the family! That's the best I can do at putting into words what I was feeling. After church we mostly rested. I hadn't been able to fast since I was taking medication that was supposed to be taken with food, plus I needed to drink a lot to help with the infection, but I was still feeling pretty tired. (Remember neither Frank and I were sleeping very well at this point). I did spend some time working on some things for my music calling, and I did a little bit of indexing.
Monday the 30th: It rained!! Not a ton, but more rain than we've seen in over a month. I got caught up on regular chores, worked a little on sewing projects, and rested a bit.
Tuesday the 1st: It didn't feel much like October because it was unseasonably warm. Snickers spent most of the day at the vet (blood glucose arc test). I was feeling quite a bit better so I was able to work pretty hard that day and besides all the regular chores I also mowed the lawn, picked the pumpkin, pulled up the pumpkin vine, and weeded in both front and back yards. The pumpkin is beautiful and really quite large, and I am happy to have my neat & tidy yard back!
Last "on the vine" photo
My attempt to show how big it is compared to me, but I'm no good at selfies!
No more vine covering half the lawn!
Seth likes it!
In the evening I helped Seth with homework and Frank went to a meeting for the IT committee for Seth's school because he joined that committee this year and is going to be helping with some IT stuff.
Wednesday the 2nd: It wasn't just unseasonably warm, it was HOT! As in high 90's. Baltimore broke their all time record for the hottest October 2nd, and I think we probably did too. I brought the pumpkin inside for a few days because I didn't want it to rot in the heat. I went to the religion class and next week is our last one because the guy who has been teaching it just retired and they're moving to Idaho to be near one of their daughters. Other than that, I just got regular chores done and helped Seth with homework.
Thursday the 3rd: It cooled down a bit and was only in the low 80's. I spent the morning working on music stuff. I practiced the ukulele because I am going to go visit a member of our ward who is in hospice care on Sunday and play a few songs for him. I was also asked to be part of a group of 8 people who are singing some songs for a memorial service for a friend of mine who passed away a few weeks ago. (She was living in Utah at the time of her death, but she grew up here in our ward and her parents still live here. They had a memorial service in Utah shortly after her death and are having one here now.) She was only in her 30's but had pancreatic cancer. So anyway, I practiced the songs for that and did a few things for my music calling. I also made a batch of cookies--part of those were for the family of my friend who just passed away (we're providing a few meals for them and I volunteered to provide dessert for one of the meals) and part of them were for the family I mentioned before who moved this week. One of their daughters was in my Primary class and I was VT companions with the mom, plus we worked in Cub Scouts together. Her husband lost his job about the same time that Frank did last summer and he has been employed only part time since then but he finally found a full time job--in California. They left this morning, but I knew we were going to see them Thursday evening (boy scouts) so I put together a plate of cookies for them and also got a card for the little girl in my class. In spite of having all those extra things to do, I still managed to get all the regular chores done--including folding almost all the laundry--before I had to pick up Seth from school. How did I do that? I have no idea! After I picked up Seth, I finished folding laundry and helped him work on homework until dinner time. After dinner we went to the church for a Court of Honor. Seth received 4 merit badges (leatherwork, chess, reptiles & amphibians, and art) and also got his Scout and Tenderfoot ranks. I am proud of him that he completed 4 of the 5 merit badges that he worked on at scout camp! (The other one was archeology, and he has to go to a dig for several hours, so he wasn't able to do that at camp.) When the scoutmaster asked him to tell something he did for each merit badge, he was very animated and enthusiastic when he talked about it. I was thinking that a lot of the time Seth's personality can be difficult and exhausting, but when he's in a good mood he can really be fun! (Although often pretty hyper too.) It's nice that there are compensations! One of the boys got his Life rank, and it was also his birthday so his family brought an ice cream cake to share with all of us.
Seth talking about his merit badges:
After the Court of Honor, Frank had to go do some work for a client until bedtime.
Friday the 4th: Today felt more like October; it was really beautiful with highs in the mid 70's. Tonight it is cool--I actually got kind of cold when I took Snickers outside a while ago. I had a busy day. A friend and I took my friend Wanda shopping. (She is wheelchair bound and lives in a nursing home, and can't get out much.) We went to a thrift store first where she got a lot of clothes. I'd never been to this particular store and I was surprised that they had a lot of quite nice furniture for really low prices. Might go back there sometime! Then we went to Walmart so she could get a bunch of hygiene items. I enjoyed the time with her (and my other friend) but it got stressful because I had to get Snickers to the vet at 2:00, and we ended up running late. I'd like to do that again sometime without the time limit! I did manage to get to the vet only a few minutes late and thankfully they got done quickly so I was able to leave on time to go pick up Seth from school at 2:30. I still barely made it in time because the traffic was horrible. At the school, we picked up some pansies we had ordered as part of a fundraiser and we also brought one of Seth's friends, Krish, home with us for a playdate. Frank was working on an issue at work and got home late. Meanwhile, I got the budget mostly done except I had an issue with the spreadsheet so Frank had to look at that for me after he got home. He helped me get everything finished then and other than that I have just been working on this blog post, which has turned out to be super long! Now it is almost bedtime so I'd better finish up and take Snickers out and give him all his medicines and get ready for bed myself.
We're looking forward to General Conference tomorrow and we will be watching for both Shellie and Tim in the choirs! :)
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