Weekly Review September 20 '08

Our week started out with Stake Conference Sunday morning. Frank had to be there early (8:30) to help set up the television cameras (they have televisions broadcasting the meeting in several rooms throughout the building). That meant I got to get everybody ready and out the door by myself, but it also meant that Frank could save us a seat in the chapel. We were almost late because at about 9:00 I realized that we had forgotten to have Tanner and Jared take showers Saturday night, so they both had to take showers before we could go. We got there just in the nick of time. I had asked Frank to save us a seat at the back of the chapel, so we could leave easily if Seth got fussy, and that worked out well. The nicest thing was that we had soft seats--those hard folding chairs get very uncomfortable after 2 hours! The meeting was really good; I especially enjoyed the remarks made by one of the couples in the temple presidency as well as the remarks from the mission president and his wife. The Washington, DC temple presidency is about to change. We will really miss them! But I'm sure we'll love the new presidency.

The boys did really well during the meeting. Seth got restless, of course. Frank took him out for a walk and tried to get him to go to sleep also, but he wasn't successful. Then I took him out for a diaper change and I could tell he was really sleepy, so I just stayed out in the hallway listening and walking around with him and he went to sleep after a few minutes. He slept the rest of the meeting (about 20 minutes) and all the way home. As usual, our ward was supposed to help put away chairs after the meeting, so all the boys helped do that.

We had invited our friends, the Koettings, to come over for dinner after Conference. This has become a tradition over the years, and we all look forward to their visit. They didn't make it this time, though, because their oldest son, Joey (Scott's age) was playing with a pocket knife in the car on the way to conference, and he managed to cut his thumb--a very deep cut! So they ended up going to the hospital instead of to conference. We missed them! I hear they were all pretty disappointed about it, too. Joey is doing ok, by the way. I talked to his mom a few days ago and she said the doctors decided to use that new super glue stuff instead of putting in stitches. The wound has come open a few times since then and bled some more, so they probably should have done the traditional stitches, but she thinks it will heal ok in the end.

Seth had one of his rare bad nights that night--he woke up about 3:15 and didn't go back to sleep. (I'm sure it is the trash truck that is waking him up--it comes Monday and Thursday mornings around 3:00 am, and it is so loud!) After Scott left for Seminary and Frank left for work (around 6:30), I managed to get Seth back to sleep. He slept until 8:30, which was perfect since that's about the time I have to leave to take Tanner and Jared to school. I couldn't sleep that whole time, of course, because I had to make sure Tanner & Jared got up and ready for school, but I did lie down for about 20 minutes which was better than nothing!

That was a long day, which ended up with a blow-up between Scott and Frank right before family night (seems like if we have to have a big disagreement, it always happens right before or during family night--I don't think that's a coincidence, actually) so I don't think any of us went to bed very happy that night, but there were apologies on both sides the next morning, and things have been better since then.

Frank has been very busy and under a lot of stress this week because the other senior IT technician has been out of town since last Saturday. That means Frank has to handle anything that comes up with any of their clients which equals a lot more work for Frank. He's been gone more and when he gets home, he has more work to do every night.

Jared, Tanner, Seth, and I have all been fighting some sort of cold this week--runny noses, coughs, scratchy throats. Not enough to keep us in bed, just enough to make us feel a little miserable as we go about trying to get things done. Between all the regular things, I've been doing a little more Christmas shopping, working on Sharing Time, and working on some scout stuff. I signed up to be a merit badge counselor for several different badges, mostly so I can work on them with my boys. But the scoutmaster asked me if I would do the Personal Management Merit Badge with all the boys in the ward, so I said I would. I'm going to YM on Wednesday evening to work on it with them. I think I can get about half of it done that night. The trick is making it interesting! I'm trying to be creative and find ways to present the information in a way that will hold their interest. Wish me luck! I've also been reading my book for book chat; I got a late start on it, so I have a lot of catching up to do since our meeting is this Tuesday.

I was supposed to have a Cub Committee Meeting on Tuesday evening, but I found out that almost none of the leaders could come (even though they helped choose the date!) so I cancelled the meeting and just had a talk with the Cubmaster over the phone instead. That worked out well since Frank ended up getting home really late that night. Wednesday evening was RS Quarterly Enrichment Meeting. I thought about skipping it since I wasn't feeling too well, but I really wanted to go and I had signed up to bring lemonade, so I went and I'm glad I did. We talked about creating a nurturing climate in our homes and related it to a garden--what we want to cultivate, what "seeds" we want to plant, how we can nourish our "seeds", what "weeds" we need to pull up, and what our "harvest" will be. Some of the things that were said were things I really needed to hear! I've been feeling pretty discouraged lately about the amount of contention that seems to always be in our home in spite of all my best efforts. This discussion was a good reminder that it's important for me to keep trying to do the best I can, and that my family will be influenced by my good choices even though I can't control the choices everybody else makes (for the most part). I left feeling more hopeful and definitely feeling grateful that our leaders are inspired to do things that help me and my family.

At the meeting on Wednesday night I found out that there was a playgroup at the park the next morning. I wasn't really planning to go, since Seth really isn't at the age where he plays with other kids yet, but one of the other moms talked me into it. Seth does love being outside, so he did have a lot of fun and I enjoyed a little bit of socializing (but mostly I was chasing Seth around). Seth was most interested in a little plastic horse they had to ride (you know, the kind with the big spring, so it rocks back and forth a little bit). He loves animals of all kinds, especially dogs and cats, but this week he seems to have figured out what a horse is. He has several books that have pictures of horses in them. He was looking at one and I pointed out the horse, then he got out another one and turned to the page with the horse. I told him he was right; that was, indeed, a horse. Then I got out another book that had a page with lots of animals on it, including a horse. I asked him to point at the horse. He paused, looked over the page, and then pointed to the horse. It was cool to see him do that!

Jared had a field trip on Thursday. They went to visit a place called "community bridge", which is close enough to their school that they walked to it. It is unique because the bridge itself is made of cement, but a local artist painted it all over with a special technique called "tromp de l'oil" (or something like that; I need to look it up) which means that the painting part looks 3-D. He painted it to look like it's made of stone. He also got input from people all over the community and painted all kinds of images on it that represent our community. I actually have pictures of it since we went there as a family back in July, so here are some pictures. Maybe you can get an idea of what I mean from them.:

Scott is the tall guy under the bridge.

Close up of some of the detail--the vines are painted on, too.

Close up of some of the stones--this image represents the Frederick County Fair

The bridge is located in a little park along a creek right in the middle of the downtown historic district. On one side is the library and a bunch of shops, and on the other side are a lot of very pricey condos. Here are a few more photos we took that day--very pretty little park!

Another bridge

The library

The expensive condo side--they do have a nice view!

Anyway, Jared said he enjoyed the field trip. The son of the artist is actually in Jared's class, and the wife of the artist was their tour guide for the trip. Jared had a busy day that day because after school he went home with his friend Sage and went with him to soccer practice that evening. He didn't get home until after 7:00.

The boys did not have school on Friday--it was "Fair Day". The county fair has been going on all week. I always want to go, but it is so expensive that we usually don't. I told the boys we would go just to see the animals and other exhibits if they wanted (admission is free for kids on Fair Day) but all they are really interested in is the expensive rides. I had a lot of work to do at home anyway. We did take an "exciting" trip to Burger King so the boys could spend their allowances on fast food and play on the playground. All of them are really too big for the playground (except Seth) but nobody else was there so they weren't bothering anyone. Seth loved it! Frank got home late; everybody else watched Lord of the Rings while I made dinner.

Jared had a soccer game this morning. His team lost again, but only by one point. The score was 3-2. His friend Sage kicked one of the goals. Jared played defense most of the game; I thought he did really well. Frank was cleaning out his car this afternoon and he hurt his hand--scraped it up pretty good. Tonight we are going to a wedding reception for a couple in our ward. It's a dinner reception and the whole family is invited so I don't have to cook dinner--nice!

It's been cooler this week, mostly. We are enjoying beautiful early fall weather. This is my favorite season!

We're glad Ben & Dee made it back to their house ok, and that the damage was pretty minor. We hope life gets back to normal for them and everybody in the Houston area as soon as possible! It was pretty interesting to me to watch the coverage of Hurricane Ike because my book club just read a book about the 1900 Galveston Hurricane a few months ago. (Isaac's storm) It's amazing how similar the results of the two storms were, although thankfully a lot fewer people died this time. (The flooding that occured even before the storm got there, the whole island basically being covered with water, the houses being destroyed, the roads to the island being impassable, the lack of food or water afterwards, etc.) I think if everybody living on Galveston now had read that book, they would have evacuated! The stories told by the survivors of both storms are remarkably similar.

I still have lots of little things to get done this afternoon before the reception, so I'd better post this and get going on those!

Pro-choice?

I was reading another blog this morning (belongs to my cousin Chris) and he quoted Barack Obama saying something that I found truly awful. (So did cousin Chris.) Now, cousin Chris probably doesn't even know I've been reading his blog, but what he said got me thinking about my own views on abortion.

That's the great thing about having a blog--I now have the perfect place to shout out my views (very therapeutic), and if you don't want to listen to me, you don't have to read it.

Now, I should just set the record straight right out and say that I'm a Republican, and a pretty conservative one at that. So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to surmise that I am what they call "pro-life".

Now here's the thing: I have a bone to pick with those who say they are "pro-choice", and it's not just that I disagree with their beliefs on abortion, it's that I disagree with what they call themselves. I think the name "pro choice" is misleading. It tries to make a bad thing look appealing--I mean, who doesn't like being able to make choices? Here in the good old USA, we highly value being free to make our own choices. I'm all for choices!

Here's where we disagree. I submit that if you are pregnant, you have already made a choice or two that got you to that point in the first place! (Except in the case of rape or incest--those women didn't get to make a choice; they were forced to do something they didn't want to do. They are innocent victims. I'm not talking about them.) I mean, think about it, people! We all know that no form of birth control is 100% fool proof, except abstinence. So unless you choose abstinence, you'd better be willing to accept the fact that one of the possible consequences of your choice is pregnancy, and take responsibility for that choice.

They really ought to call themselves "pro-don't need to be responsible for my choices".

What a deal!

We've lived in this house for over 8 years now, and we finally got some patio furniture for the deck this summer. We got such a great deal, too...and at the grocery store of all places! It is a nice set with six chairs, which is what interested me the most. Enough seats for everyone in our family! Most sets only have 4 chairs. It was on clearance for half price. Then when they rang it up, it rang up for even less. In the end, we were out only about $50 for the whole thing! The boys love it and spent lots of time out there this summer, reading in the shade. Here are some

pictures I took of them in July:

Scott & Seth

Seth loves climbing up into the chairs!

Jared reading

Seth loves climbing up onto the table, too.

Everybody but Tanner (and the ugly box the patio set came in--it's gone now.)

I didn't really get a good shot with the view from the deck. I'll have to take some pictures of that and post them sometime. The Monocacy River runs right behind our house. We can't see it very well in the summer because of all the brush that grows up on the banks, but in the winter it is very clear from the back windows of our house and from the deck. There's a large common area with green grass and lots of trees between us and the river. It is just beautiful! One of the things I like the most about this house!

Weekly Review September 13 '08

The first news I have this week is that my eye is improving! I am so happy about it! I can still feel a small hard lump just below the corner of my eye, but it is almost gone and in general my whole eye looks much better than it has in months. I can wear my contact lenses again, which means I can see again--how nice! Now if it will just stay "infection free" until I have the surgery done, I will be so grateful.

We are not getting much chance to sleep in these days. Scott has to be up around 5:15 Monday through Friday, and our church schedule just changed so we have to be at church at 9:00 now. That leaves Saturday as our only day with "sleep in" potential. (I define "sleep in" as 7:00--with a young toddler in the house, that's about as good as it gets!) Soccer season started for Jared this week, so now we have Saturday morning soccer games for the next 7-8 weeks. At least this season they are mostly at 10:00 or 11:00 instead of 8:00 like last season.

Actually, I am finding that the "early to bed, early to rise" routine is much better for me than I expected. Ok, some nights I am not all that early to bed, but most of the time I am in bed by 10:00, and sometimes even earlier. The thing that has been the best about it is that ever since school started (I am keeping my fingers crossed and knocking on wood here) I have not had any trouble sleeping through the night (with the exception of a few nights when I or someone else was sick). I rarely wake up at all, and if I do, I go right back to sleep. If you are acquainted with my sleeping habits at all, you will know that this is truly a miracle! Will it last? I hope so. I do occasionally go through good cycles like this when I am not troubled by insomnia for a few weeks. So maybe that's all it is, but I am hoping it has more to do with the fact that I am up between 5:00 and 5:30 most mornings. I guess only time will tell. In the meantime, I am enjoying it while it lasts!

So Sunday we were up bright and early for 9:00 am church. I did my first Sharing Time since I was put back into the Primary presidency (I've done a lot in the past!) and it seemed to go well. Sharing Time used to be about 20-30 minutes long, but now that we are having seperate opening / closing exercises for junior and senior primaries, Sharing Time is only 15 minutes long, and the time goes by really fast! My friend Rebecca is the chorister now and she does a great job even though she was terrified when she got the calling because she is not musical at all. Now she really likes it, and she is so creative. On Sunday, in honor of the dousing we got the day before from the remains of Hurricane Hanna, we had a wet singing time. One child was chosen to come up and hold an umbrella (standing on a large towel) and if the kids sung the songs really well, the child holding the umbrella got squirted with a spray bottle of water. The kids loved it, of course! And I got elected to be the "judge", so I was the squirter. As luck would have it, both Tanner and Jared were chosen to hold the umbrella, so I got to squirt my own kids--lots of fun!

After church I had choir practice and after I got home, Frank took Scott to collect fast offerings. Seth had been up since about 7:00 that morning so he was dropping in his tracks by then. I got him to sleep very quickly and then I took a nap, too. One of the "perks" that goes with morning church! Scott had a fireside that night, so it was a busy day for him.

Seth has been taking some pretty long naps since school started, but this week he "teased" me a lot by taking very short naps most days. He took a long nap on Tuesday, though. I had just barely put him down around 11:00 when the phone rang--the health room; Tanner wasn't feeling well. He didn't have a fever or anything though, so I talked to him and explained that Seth had just gone to sleep and I thought he'd probably sleep an hour or two. I told Tanner to go back to class and see if he could hold out for a couple of hours and I would come get him later if he felt worse. He agreed, and time passed...one hour, two hours, three hours, three and a half hours.... The phone didn't ring and Seth didn't wake up, either. I thought Tanner was going to make it until dismissal, but around 2:45 (and only about 5 minutes after Seth finally woke up) I got the call back. By that time it was only an hour until dismissal, so when I went to pick up Tanner I just got Jared too.

Tanner didn't seem to be very sick, but he kind of moped around and the next day his temperature was a little elevated, so I let him stay home from school. Thankfully, he never did seem to get all that sick. He got back two tests this week (one math, one language arts) and he did great on both of them. He got 100% on the language arts one. Overall, he really seems to be enjoying school this year.

This week end is our Stake Conference, so all of the weekly meetings were cancelled. The idea is that we will hopefully have more time to attend the temple during the week. We still seemed to keep pretty busy. Frank was trying to get a computer fixed for a boy in our ward, so he was busy most evenings with that.
Thursday evening Jared had his first soccer practice. His friend Sage from school is on his team this time. They've been best friends since 1st Grade, so that is really fun for them. Sage has never played soccer before, but he did really well during practice and the first game--he must be a natural! Jared is on the same team (with the same coach) as last season, and a few of the kids are the same, but most of them are different. I noticed the two high scorers from last season are not on his team anymore--too bad! One of the girls in our ward is also on his team, and she is pretty good. Their first game was this morning, and they lost 6-1. Not such a great beginning! But actually their team did pretty well. I noticed a lot of the kids on the other team were elbowing and tripping the kids on Jared's team, but the referee never called any fouls on them--kind of frustrating! Jared was a good sport about it, and didn't seem to be bothered by it much. He loves playing, so it really doesn't matter how much they win or lose anyway.
Sage's mom has to be out of town the next 5 week ends for her job (she designs, makes, and sells glass jewelry at various shows) and his dad has to teach a class on Saturday mornings, so we worked it out that Sage's dad will be dropping him off at our house on Saturday mornings around 8:15 (on the way to his class) and we will take Sage to the games with us. Then his dad will pick him up at our house afterwards. In return, Sage's mom is going to take Jared home from school with her on Thursdays, take him to the practices, and then bring him home. It's a nice arrangement for Sage and Jared, since they will get lots of "play time" and nice for us, since we won't have to take Jared to practice every week. I feel bad for Sage's mom and dad that they will miss most of his games, but at least he will get to play in them!

I decided to get a move on this week and started getting ready for Christmas. Rachelle sent me this cool planning thing (part of their present for us, since they have us this year) so I am going to try to follow it and see how it goes. The jobs for this week were easy or not applicable, so I got quite a bit of shopping done instead--all online. I like getting that part done early! I have a few projects I'd like to get done (I can't say more than that, in case Frank or the boys read this) so I need to get started on those now if they are going to get done on time.

I watched a lot of television on Thursday--mostly documentaries on the History Channel about September 11th. I also watched the dedication of the Pentagon Memorial. The memorial looks pretty neat--we'll have to go down and see it sometime. I watch the September 11th shows every year. I always cry! I just feel like I need to do that every year.

On Friday Frank had to go down south to get a few small things done, so he took his temple clothes with him and went to the temple after he was done with his work. We were hoping that I could go down to the temple after he got back home, but he still had a lot of work to get done here at home that he couldn't do with Seth climbing all over him, so I ended up staying home. Hopefully I will get to go next week.

One of the seminary teachers sent us photographs taken at seminary during the first couple of weeks. They are really nice pictures! Last Friday they had a "Breakfast with the Bishopric". It was really "Breakfast Cooked by the Bishopric". Yep, our bishopric got up really early and made breakfast for all the seminary kids! Pretty cool, I think! Scott thought it was great. He is doing really well at getting up on his own for Seminary. We are really proud of him for that!

I've been watching the news about Hurricane Ike pretty closely. We are glad that Ben & family were able to evacuate safely, but we hope their house is ok. I haven't heard much on the news about the area where they live, but at least the storm surge was not as bad as they expected. We are hoping for the best! I was looking up their house on google maps Friday morning to see how close it is to the water, and I discovered that they now have "street view" available for that area. That means you can actually see the houses as if you were standing on the street. I looked up our former house in Houston. It looks a little different from what I remember, but it is definitely our house. I didn't recognize any of the other houses on the street (except for the one directly across the street from our house), though. Kind of appalling how little I remember, considering we lived on that street for 3 1/2 years! (I was pretty young, though.) Anyway, go check it out--it's pretty cool! Street view is not available for every area yet (Frederick, for example) but I have checked some of the other places we've lived and it is available for Lancaster, Denver, and many areas of Utah.

Friday was very gray and rainy--almost looked like we were the ones getting a hurricane! It rained hard well into the night last night, but then it cleared up this morning. Frank was still trying to get some work done today so he was not able to go to the afternoon leadership meeting for stake conference, but we did both go to the evening adult session. We decided to let the boys try babysitting Seth, and that seemed to go fine--he was asleep in his crib when we got home, and we didn't get any panicked phone calls! (And Scott even changed 2 messy diapers.) The meeting was really good, by the way. Scott and Tanner spent the night at a friend's house last night (a family that used to be in our ward) so they were pretty tired today, and Tanner took a nap.

We were totally surprised to discover that the BYU football game was on television again this week! Two weeks in a row--that NEVER happens. Frank says it's because they were playing PAC 10 teams. Well, whatever the reason, we were thrilled to get to see another BYU game. We didn't discover it was on until the beginning of the third quarter, but we did watch the rest. Definitely not a nailbiter this time! We were a little miffed when the announcers said that BYU was being a "rude host" to UCLA. Why? Because we were winning? We totally shut them out--how rude!!

After we got home from the meeting tonight, I still had some floors to clean, so now it is really late and I'd better get to bed. Good night!

Remembering 9/11

I admit it--I always cry on September 11th. I didn't know any of the victims of 9/11 personally, so I can only imagine how much more painful this day must be for those who did. That's probably the biggest reason that I cry...to a small extent, I feel the pain of those who suffered such terrible loss on this day. Although 9/11 is stark evidence of the worst that is in us as a human race, it is also dramatic, powerful evidence of the best that is in us. That is what I like to remember the most about this day, and it brings tears to my eyes...the good kind! It's amazing and humbling to me to be reminded of the many, many people (some rescue workers by profession, some not) who put their own lives in danger to help save someone else. Not someone they knew, but someone who was a complete stranger; a fellow human being, and that was enough. The little bit of our Heavenly Father who is in all of us shines through and triumphs in situations like this. It gives me hope!

It's been 7 years since that day, and I've always meant to sit down and write what I experienced and what I felt that day, but I've never done it. Maybe because it's so hard for words to describe the jumbled mix of emotions that I still feel when I think about that day. I'm still trying to sort it all out! In general, I'd say I'm the kind of person that stays pretty calm in a crisis. (I might fall apart later!) I don't usually get too up tight about the state of the world, either. I might be upset, saddened, even sometimes shocked by world events, but I try not to dwell on them too much. Will it do any good to worry? Probably not. Instead, I choose to focus on making the world a better place by trying to be a good person and by trying to raise my boys to be good, too. But this is one world event that deeply affected me. The main feelings I remember having that day were disbelief, sorrow, and fear--lots of fear.

Because I live on the east coast, I watched nearly all the events of 9/11/01 as they happened. Frank was going in to work late that day, so he was in the car listening to the news when the first plane hit. He called me and told me to turn on the television. "They're saying something about a plane crashing into one of the World Trade Center towers," he said "turn on the television and see if they're showing any pictures." I did, and was immediately confronted by scenes of the North Tower with a large hole in it's side and smoke and flames pouring out of it. I told Frank it looked pretty bad to me, but of course at that point I had no idea how bad it really was or how much worse it was going to be. Of course, I thought it was just a terrible accident. I don't remember now how long I stayed on the phone, but I left the television on and so I saw the huge explosion when the second plane hit. I didn't actually see the plane, but I recognized immediately that the explosion was in the South Tower, not the same tower that had already been hit. That's when I realized that our nation was under an attack of some kind, and I first felt fear.

As events continued to unfold, I watched in disbelief. When they reported that some planes had been hijacked and they thought those were the planes that had hit the towers, I felt sick. It was bad enough that planes had hit the buildings and people in the buildings had died; it seemed infinitely worse that innocent people on the planes had died as well. Then the Pentagon was hit (Frank could see the smoke from his office building; he was working in a very tall building at the time) and then another plane reported down in Pennsylvania. What was next? That's what I began to wonder, and I felt pretty vulnerable. When one of the newscasters said that it looked like one of the towers was teetering a little, my initial reaction was "those news people always exaggerate to make things look more dramatic". That's the thing I guess I remember the most--it was such a terrible day that everything turned out even worse than I could have possibly imagined. When they said that all air traffic had been grounded, I really felt the impact. This was HUGE! I'd never heard of anything like that ever happening before. I felt great sorrow and dismay in the following days as only 5 people were pulled alive from the wreckage in NYC. I had hoped that there would be many, many more survivors.

I remember how tense things were for the next few days and weeks. The following night I woke up in the middle of the night and I was terrified when I thought I heard a plane going by overhead. (We live near a small county airport, so planes and helicopters overhead are a very common sound, but at that point all air traffic was still grounded.) If someone was up there, they weren't supposed to be! What were they doing?! I was in a store the next day and a lady started yelling and waving her arms around. It turns out she was just excited about something, but all of us around her jumped about a foot and started looking around to see what impending disaster was about to strike. Really--I remember getting that "adrenaline rush" feeling that I get only rarely--when I'm really frightened. We were relieved when we realized nothing was wrong, but the cashier said (clutching her heart) "Don't do that!" I had to laugh at myself afterwards, but that's how up tight we all were. I think more so in the area I live than in many places--we live only about 50 miles north of one of the targets (The Pentagon). If the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania had made it to its supposed intended target (the Capitol Building), it would have flown right over our heads in order to get there. We felt "caught in the middle of things" to a certain extent, and I'm sure it was much worse for those living in New York City.

Those are my memories of that day and the few days afterwards. Some people--those whose lives were impacted much more by this day than mine was--probably think about it a lot more often than I do. What I feel today is gratitude that, seven years later, nothing like that has happened again. Although the world did change, and none of us will ever be the same, for most of us, our day-to-day lives have gone on largely unchanged from what they were before. Sure, we have to get to the airport earlier whenever we fly on a plane, and endure much stricter scrutiny than we did before. I think none of us have forgotten, in the back of our minds, that bad things can happen and we always need to be alert and careful. Many who have family members serving in the military have been greatly impacted (at least indirectly) by the events of 9/11. But me? I still live in a land of freedom surrounded by the people I love, and I don't live in fear. What a blessing!

Still, every year on this day I cry. So many people suffered and sacrificed; so many people were true heroes. Every year I give them my tears. I think I owe them at least that much!

Favorite Senses

I usually don't like being asked "what's your favorite...?" Favorite color, for example. I don't have one! I like most of them. Favorite book? Are you kidding? Love so many of them! I like the line from the movie Ever After (incidentally, that is a favorite of mine!) when Prince Henry asks Danielle to choose a book from the library and she exclaims "I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens!" That's how I feel about choosing my favorite book, as well as my favorite...a lot of other things. It just seems so exclusive. Why can't I like a lot of things? Well, that's why I don't have a lot of favorites.

That being said, I'm going to make a list of some of my favorite sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and feelings. I don't remember what got me thinking about it the other day, but there are some things that give me particular joy. I want to record them so I will remember that sometimes it's the little things that mean the most. So, this is not an all-inclusive list (since I don't have favorites!) but here are some of the little things that mean a lot to me.

Sights

Rainbows

Waterfalls

My husband's smile

My kids showing affection for each other

Autumn Leaves

Colorful Flowers (especially Iris and Pansies)



Sleeping Babies

Fireworks

Lightning

New School Supplies

Sunrises & Sunsets

Lightning Bugs

Old Photographs

My Baby Folding His Arms During Family Prayer

Beautifully Wrapped Packages

Anything Shiny

Unique Old Houses

Christmas Lights

Sounds

My Baby's Laughter

Wind Chimes

Thunder (not too close!)

Music

Cicadas

Birds Singing

Smells

Vanilla Flavoring

Fresh Mint

Cilantro

Cloves

Roses

Lilacs

Baking Bread

Cedar Wood

Pine Trees

Baby Powder

Tastes

Strawberries

Cumin

Mushrooms

Vanilla Ice Cream

Cheesecake

Shortbread

Dark Chocolate

Cashews

Fresh from the Garden Tomatoes

Feelings

Holding Hands

A Hot Shower

A Good Backrub

My Baby Patting my Back & Playing with my Hair

Cool Autumn Breezes

Warm Summer Nights

My Baby's Perfect Skin

Soft Fabrics Like Flannel, Satin, Velvet

Thoughts on Being 40

I turned 40 a few months ago. My kids think I am soooo old!! I just laugh at them. Then I think how amazing it is that I feel so good about being 40 years old. When I was a little girl, I thought 40 was pretty much the end of life (kind of like how my kids feel now). Don't ask me why; I can't remember what got me thinking that way. I think I have dreaded turning 40 ever since then, even though as I have gotten older I have come to realize that 40 isn't that old. The whole issue of turning 40 took on new meaning to me when I was in my mid- to late 30's. I had my third child when I was 30 years old. I wanted to have about 5 kids, and I wanted to be done by the time I was about 34 or 35--mainly because I remembered my mom saying that when she had her last child at age 36, she felt too old to be doing that! So I felt pretty good--felt like I was "right on schedule" to have my 5th child around age 35. Then when I was 32 (pushing 33), I lost a baby I was carrying at about 10 weeks. Then years passed, and no more babies came. I'm not going to go into all the trauma and growth I went through during those years (that's another story) but I remember a friend once asking me during that time (I was probably about 37 by then) what I was going to do if I didn't have another baby by the time I turned 40. Was I going to keep trying? Well, believe it or not, I had never really thought about that before. I surprised myself and my friend with my reaction: I burst into tears and said "I don't know." I guess in my mind, I had always thought of 40 as my "absolute cut off " (even though I know many women have babies after that age) and I was hoping a miracle would happen before that day arrived. I started to dread my 40th birthday. It was going to be the worst day of my life; I just knew it! Not only would I be "officially old", but I would be saying good-bye forever to any chance of having another child.

Well, happily, things didn't turn out that way. I finally came to terms with the idea that I was forever going to be the mother of 3, and I was at peace with that--which was not the miracle I had been hoping for, but was a huge miracle just the same.

Then, much to my surprise, the other miracle happened. Above, is a picture from my 4oth birthday. Here is another one:

Yes, that is me, holding my 1 year old son! (And, yes, I did feel very old during the last trimester of that pregnancy!) But now I am 40. I have a 1 year old, and I feel very, very young! And very, very grateful that things didn't turn out the way I planned but followed a perfect, divine plan instead. I consider this to be one of the many "tender mercies of the Lord" that I have experienced in life.

I have decided that 40 is a great age. Old enough to sit still when necessary, but young enough to still have some energy. Old enough to remember things like black & white television, typewriters, and no computers and to appreciate the many advances in technology but young enough to still dream about how it could be even better. Old enough to have perspective, but young enough to change. Old enough to have gained some wisdom and experience in life, but young enough to keep learning.

I love being 40! Life is just beginning!