Two Different Houses

The first house is small. The flooring is old and worn. The carpets need replacing or at the very least, a good cleaning. Many of the walls are grimy and some need new paint. Most of the furniture is old and worn, also. Much of it is “hand me downs” from others that don’t reflect the tastes of the house’s occupants. The family that lives in this house feels crowded. It’s hard to find some peace and quiet. It’s hard to find places for everything. The house looks cluttered, in spite of the homemaker’s best efforts. Finances are always tight. Vacations are infrequent, outings are rare, date nights almost non-existent. It’s hard to save. Whatever small savings that are accumulated quickly disappear—the car needs fixing, an appliance breaks, or someone needs dental work. The parents wonder how the kids are going to go to college. Day-to-day expenses are difficult also. Field trips, birthday gifts, growing children needing new clothes, and so forth wreak havoc on the budget on a weekly basis which leaves the parents feeling frustated and discouraged. They say "no" to their kids a lot more than they'd like to.

The second house has two full levels and an almost finished basement. It's in a nice neighborhood with beautiful views out the back. The walls in this house are also a bit grimy--mostly marks left by the dirty hands of children, which the parents consider a great blessing. The family that lives in this house is happy. They have everything they need and a lot of the things that they want. No one in this house has ever gone to bed hungry. As a matter of fact, they have good meals every day and on Sundays they have an extra nice meal that usually includes meat, vegetables, fruit, delicious homemade rolls and dessert. Everyone in this house has a bed to sleep in. The house is warm and dry in the winter, and in summer it's cooled by air conditioning. The children's drawers often overflow with clothes--many nice items given to them by others. Everyone has warm clothes (including coats, gloves, and hats) for winter months and cooler clothes for summer. Although the budget is almost always tight, somehow, miraculously, there's always enough to meet the family's needs.

Even more than all that, this family considers themselves the most blessed family in their whole neighborhood because they have a lot more than just temporal blessings. They are all healthy and strong. This family have wonderful extended families who don't live near, but through the wonders of technology they are able to keep in touch. They have many close friends and enjoy having those friends visit their home. There is more than one priesthood holder in this home. This family is sealed together forever through the power of the priesthood, and they enjoy all the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ on a daily basis. They are far from perfect, but they have the blessings of scripture study, family prayer, family home evening, and the counsel of living prophets to help their family overcome their challenges and become a stronger family.

Maybe you've guessed by now that the "two different houses" are not actually two houses but one. I've been describing the same house and the same family in both scenarios. Maybe you've also guessed that the house and family that I'm describing is my own.

Perhaps that is why I loved this quote that President Thomas S. Monson used in his conference talk last October: “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend . . . when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.” (Sarah Ban Breathnach)

This quote spoke to my heart, perhaps because it put into words the conflicting feelings I've had for many years. One day I am feeling discouraged and resentful about the things I don't have and the next day I wonder how I can ever feel that way when I have so much of the things that truly matter. All too often, I choose to tend the first secret garden that I described at the beginning of this post instead of the second one. This quote was encouraging to me, though. I realized, for one thing, that those conflicting feelings I have are normal. More importantly, the quote provided the answer to my question of how to be a grateful person. I have to make a conscious choice to focus on the abundance. Ok, so I already knew that, of course. (How many times have I sung the hymn "Count Your Blessings" in my life?!) But I love the way this quote acknowledges the reality of the lack of abundance, while at the same time encouraging us to move past the lack to focus on the abundance that is also a reality. I can do that! I've been trying to do that the last six months, and it does make a difference.

I still have a long way to go, though. So I've decided that this will be my first post in a new "column" which I am going to call "Thankful Thursday". (Ok, so I didn't get this one posted until Friday...but I started it on Thursday!) I doubt I'll manage to post something every Thursday, but occasionally this column will pop up. Sometimes I might make a list of things I'm grateful for. Other times I might focus on one particular blessing, or share an experience that illustrates something I'm grateful for, or even write a mini-essay on gratitude similar to this one. I'm keeping my options open, but whatever I choose to do, I will be focusing on the abundance that exists in my life. I hope you will want to share your own thoughts on this topic as well.

Heaven on earth, here I come!